"Jewel Vixens" is a thoroughly serious look at values and their relevance in public policy. It hopes to link federal politics to the common citizen's needs according to various scholars in theology and government, and engages in thorough discussion with various leadership figures of our time.

Following that, it is about eight empowered, independent, impossibly sexy vixens in the 1970's who, after becoming the unlikely targets of a mysterious evil organization, are recruited by a benevolent, yet mysterious benefactor and trained as super spies.

As the diabolical forces of S.P.E.C.T.R.U.M. prey upon innocents around the globe, it becomes apparent that Sapphire, Onyx, Aquamarine, Emerald, Jade, Amethyst, Ruby, and Topaz are the only ones capable of dismantling their insidious plans.

(This comic is produced by various imps, demons, and succubi, but most importantly by-)

-Nick "Aelius" Hardin, benevolent creator of the Jewel Vixens and writer. Also wrestled 'Hulk' Hogan to the ground and stole his title belt in an unpublicized event.

-Steven "Jodimest" Swanson, co-creator of characters, artist, and writer. Collects disability after he gnawed his left arm off to escape a frighteningly boring conversation.

-John "Slippy" Silipino, Resident Italian, webmaster of godly proportions, and designer of this site. Once a popular adult film star, he currently lives in a Long Island mansion complete with harem and natural hot springs.

-Jonathan "Kelketek" Piacenti, Second Italian and primary webmaster. Organized a city-wide pilfering of remote controls and cassette tape cases. His example went on to inspire theives everywhere.

-Alex "Snipa" Blair, ex-KGB agent. Left soviet Russia as it fell and has been plotting restoration of the communist government. He has been known to serve "Almond flavored" coffee to those who cross or dissapoint him.